DISCLAIMER: This blog will require a self-check!
Sometimes we find ourselves in compromising situations, one in particular could be a middle-man. As much as we try to avoid being this person, sometimes we find our self here. One may ask how someone can be a middle-man. Well, it’s as simple as being connected to two different people that may have animosity with each other but they are both fond of you. Even though you’re clear on both sides, you could still be the deciding factor of this situation. Depending on the closeness of both relationships, your opinion could carry a lot of weight. This means that you have the opportunity to be a link or a kink!
I remember being in a situation that involved a family member and a very close friend. Although these two individuals were not feuding to the point of violence, there was little to no communication with them. The sad part is, this all stemmed from a situation that was created by another person who couldn’t control their emotions, and they played both sides with these same two individuals, not knowing that this would create a lasting dislike between them. Now, here I was, being a family member to one individual and a good friend to the other individual, I knew that the two individuals did not care for each other too much but I couldn’t allow their opinions of each other to change my perception of either one of them. I had several opportunities to create more madness and make the situation worse than it already was but I didn’t. I chose to not talk to either one of the individuals about the other individual.
One day, my friend decided to push me into talking about my family member. At first, I kept avoiding the conversation because I didn’t my friend to feel like I was okay with her talking about my family member. This situation revealed my opportunity. I had the option to either be a link or a kink! We’ve all seen a chain. We know that a chain, no matter how long or short it is, it’s only made up of small links that are connected together to make one unified object. On the other hand, we’ve also seen a water hose that has been bent in the middle. The water has a hard time flowing from the source to the destination because the pathway isn’t straight. This is called a kink. Until the kink is straightened out, the hose will never be able to function as it was meant to.
I saw my chance and I decided to be a link. My friend, Quanisha always says “We are better together”- to me, this means we can function better as a chain. Even if we are only small links, a chain is a chain because of small links!
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve failed this test plenty of times. Looking in retrospect, I can recall several times where I had been a kink when I should have been a link. I should have had the mindset of Quanisha, We are better together!
Now, I know better. Now, I know that damaged relationships can be repaired or destroyed by the middle-man. Now, I know that influences matter. Now, I know that I can be the bigger person even if the battle is not mine- because I am connected on both sides!
YOU have the ability to decide if the chain connects or not. So I ask you, Are you a link or a kink?