Tag: selfish

Mutualistic Interactions

Chandra K

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One thing I’ve learned is everybody is not assigned to you! There will be some who will cling to you because of the idea of you or because of the benefits you can bring to them but ultimately, they are not for you.

For a long time I struggled with that. I thought I could help everybody and I actually tried until I found out that some people didn’t genuinely want my help. They just wanted to be connected to me! I quickly found out that this was dangerous because they didn’t have my best interest at heart. This showed me that they really didn’t care about my well-being or my purpose but at any cost, they just wanted to be able to say we were connected some kind of way. It was more of a leech relationship than a mutualistic interaction. After all, all leeches need is a steady supply and a ride to the next destination.

I realized that more drama and confusion was being created in my life because I was subjecting myself to this one-sided relationship! I’ve never lived a drama-filled life and I didn’t like it. I hated the fact that my peace had been disturbed and I constantly felt drained. It was because I allowed leeches to suck the life out of me. Not only that, but I noticed how I had began to lose focus and distractions started multiplying. This was because I was giving all I had to help the leech but I wasn’t receiving anything to replenish what I had given out. I had developed and harvested way too many one-sided relationships and it was greatly affecting me. So I released.

I shut off the valve that was supplying fuel to the leeches. And I realized that once I shut off the valve, the leeches didn’t die. They simply found another place to draw fuel from. And from that, some continued to drain others and some actually developed mutualistic interactions. Those that developed mutualistic interactions puzzled me. I wondered why wasn’t it a mutualistic interaction when they were connected to me. As time progressed, I realized that I had become comfortable with supplying and that’s all they were searching for at that moment, a supplier! But the next place demanded that mutualistic interaction. This meant that the leech would either grow up or die because the supplier demanded it!

Outside of the biology world now, think about the leeches in your life. Have you lost sight of your vision due to constantly giving your all to one specific area? Is it a one-sided relationship?

Important question: Can the same people you are pouring into, pour into you?

Conscious effort time. Are you okay with being a supplier? Is it that important to you just to be connected to someone but not experience a healthy growth from it? You decide.

Self-Seeking, Self-Sufficient, Self-Reliant, Selfish

Chandra K

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We know that self-sufficiency is defined as not needing any aid or assistance; self-reliant, not requiring any outside help. It’s a good thing to be independent, as long as it’s paired with humbleness and humility. In a sense, we all strive to reach an aspect of self-sufficiency, especially financially but sometimes it can be taken too far and used negatively. And if we are not careful, self-sufficiency becomes “I don’t need anybody for anything”…but in the wrong way. These type of people are dangerous.

Be careful with those who feel as if they don’t need anybody. These people are usually less compassionate for others because they can not relate to anything, other than themselves. They tend to be more wreck less with their words because they see themselves as self-reliant. They see little to no need to repair friendships or connections. So they’re usually not sensitive to the needs and feelings of those that are around them. These type of people usually have a hard time connecting, establishing, and maintaining long term relationships and friendships due to their lack of need for anyone. There is usually no regard for the lives of others, only for themselves and the things that concerns them. So, I asked myself “How can one go from being a simple independent person to being an arrogant self-seeking individual?”

Like this…once a mindset is developed of not needing anyone, it’s paired with the mindset of “look at me, I’m doing this on my own!” People who usually obtain this mindset, gains fuel and validation from making sure others notice their self-sufficiency. At that point humility and humbleness goes out the window! After all, what good is it to have something if no one knows you have it. This is because the person feels no value of their life and success unless there is an audience.

Some characteristics of a self-seeking, self-reliant, and self-sufficient person are things like conceitedness, boastfulness, and selfishness. If we are not careful, these things can sneak up and overtake us, especially when we are seeing a constant flow of blessings. Unknowingly, we can turn into the self-sufficient person, needing no one or nothing. No matter how blessed or lifted God blesses us to be, we will always need someone. So today, the challenge is to search our hearts and minds. Be honest with yourself. Do you obtain any of these characteristics? Have you found yourself saying you don’t need anyone? I understand that some connections are poisonous but the fact still remains that everybody needs somebody.